So why the walls?
The doctor answers
That for me: an episode.
I wanted to Hang myself.
I took the linen off the duvet.
Opened the window.
Then I realised.
It would probably
Fail like everything
Else in my life.
Someone would notice
A swinging body
Dangling from a top
Flat window. Desperate
As I was it
Wouldn't be fair
To traumatise a
Child with their
Whole life ahead of them.
A limp motionless
Body with rolling eyes
Flailing, suspended in mid air.
That could destroy
Anyone's innocence.
Anything could go wrong.
Might get cut down
And rescued. Psychosis
Is the brains over reactive
Response to severe depression.
Now you know.
To think the most disturbing
Freddy Krueger death
Was the puppet scene.
Where he rips out
His tendons, ligaments, body parts
So he can be,
Controlled on strings.
Half in a trance.
And lead me to death.
Life and death.
Where does one end
And the other start.
Why do the French
Say an orgasm is
Like a little death
Around the eyes.
Beautiful and bad.
I wasn't any.
Drugs? Alcohol
Has never failed me.