Had my psychiatrist appointment. Asked if they thought I had PMDD and they said yes, it seems that way, but on top of an unspecified bipolar disorder. They asked if I thought I was back to baseline before the meds we tried and I said yes, minus the increased severity of moods around my period, as I have never before felt unsafe with myself around then. We also discussed that I will try the birth control and follow up with him in a few months. If I try psych meds again, we will try something at a very low dose since I am clearly super sensitive to them, and instead of an improved effect at higher doses I got worse.
Apparently he thinks my reactions to my hormones are a bit unusual as he said he has not met someone that reacts in the way I do. I know PMDD can be severe in many women, so I kind of wonder if it was just that plus the med reactions that made it different. It is kind of validating that he now understands what I have for awhile about my brain haha.
Super nervous to start the birth control and waiting until after this cycle. A few more days of a good mood before it is scheduled to drop sharply, hoping that it isn't so far this time. Thanks everyone for all your support as I am have been trying to figure all of this out, it's been so confusing!