Here’s how I am guilty of testing them:

In reaction to a threatening, bullying action by my niece, her post about ‘if you don’t agree with me, unfriend me now’, I posted how I was getting off social media and was very “triggered” by my niece’s “abrasive and bullying” post, and I tagged her.

So, that was a test, where I was hoping she would affirm that even though we may disagree about politics, she had no intention of unfriending her aunt. Instead, she unfriended me.

Then I hoped that the rest of my family would tell her that was not cool and defend me, even put pressure on her to undo it and cut the crap.

While my one sister defended me on the thread prior to the unfriending by saying I basically HAD no political views, and my mother espoused some eloquent babble about freedom of speech, after the unfriending, NO ONE said anything.

When that happened, I got upset with my husband and one son who said they witnessed the post as it was happening and they didn’t say anything. That’s when I wrote them all a group text about how I need them to defend me when it’s warranted or explain to me why it’s not.

I have PTSD. It goes back to my childhood of being verbally and emotionally attacked and being treated as insignificant and unimportant. And those same family members were witnesses who did not defend me then. So it’s like I am trying to be vindicated now.

So, my faulty thinking is that a family would care if they saw upsetting mistreatment be done to their loved one and stand up for them. I don’t know why it is lacking in my family. I don’t know why I am underserving of it. But I accept it. However, I don’t want to have anything to do with them because they don’t care about me.

They don’t want to have anything to do with me either. No one will ever call the other again. I’m probably the only one even thinking about this incident anymore. They all just put me right out of their minds.