
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdDancer
Thanks for sharing that, Blueberrybook! I hope your therapy goes well, too.
Well, my elderly dad actually did show up to visit me this morning. I thought he'd forget or cancel. I think he dreads seeing me nowadays, because I've been the one to express the strongest concern for him.
Five minutes into his visit he said he wanted to go out for lunch. That surprised me since I thought he'd stay two hours max and rush home. He, of course, wanted to go to the tavern nearby. I said I only would if he only ordered one beer and nothing else. He nervously agreed.
Eventually he admitted that he is planning to go to a psychoanalyst. I told him I was happy to hear that and encouraged him to tell them a few things he'd not have, in the past. I said a few other things about that, but tried not to lecture him. I reminded him that he rarely sees me or my siblings, and that we are the three people that truly do love him in this world. We are the only ones that would be true dedicated supporters. Not his bar buddies. Not his cafe cronies.
He was shaking very noticeably. I asked him if it was anxiety being with me, alcohol withdrawal shakes, or both. He said probably both. I then tried to turn the conversation to lighter things, like nature. It turned out to be only a 45 minute visit before he stated he was heading home, skipping the lunch idea. I offered that I'd even drive him home. He refused.
My dad was walking very clumsily towards the front door, and probably realizing I noticed, said with a nervous chuckle that he was walking like my maternal grandfather used to. I warned him of the steps out and watched him get to his car. I watched where he couldn't see me. It was several minutes before his car left my driveway. I hope he was just adjusting or maybe calming himself, perhaps putting on the radio, and/or putting some snuff under his lip. I fear he was gulping down some vodka. My bro says he sits in his car doing that regularly for many minutes even before entering his own house, where my bro also lives.
After dad left, I called my hubby telling him the story. I said I feared he went straight to the tavern. Hubby told me to drive there and check. I did. Luckily he wasn't there.
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 One time H called the police on a very close friend of his who peeled away and was drunk when H got home. The friend & H lived in the same small apartment complex. H was worried because this friend who never had money and was a known drinker had also suddenly shown up in a pristine new red sports car, one of the expensive brand names. I was with H (this happened when we were engaged), and we spoke to the obviously drunk friend before he peeled away. H struggled with it but thought the guy (besides driving drunk) could be suicidal, and H called the police. He felt awful about it. The police let him know later that they'd stopped his friend with a DWI charge. At least he was safe. I know H always has felt guilty about that, and it did tear apart their friendship, but at least he was safe, and soon after, H got a job requiring him to move across the city, so we lost contact with him. The car ended up belonging to a friend of the guy.
Just saying...if you suspect your dad of being drunk, better safe than sorry. Or even just having the shakes from alcohol withdrawal. But turning in a parent has got to be difficult, much worse than the situation H was in.
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD
Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine,
There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in.
--Leonard Cohen
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