I'd like to hear your thoughts but especially experiences about this. Do relationships between someone who has a physical disability and someone who doesn't usually 'work', or is it really very very difficult? I understand that it depends on the two people...
There is a reason why I ask. I quite recently found a friend that has a disability (he uses a wheelchair). He's a very good person and always makes me smile when we chat (we knew each other online) and he's very nice to me, for example he says very sweet things about me, and since I often doubt myself it's good to have someone like him. He says that being friend with me improves his life and that I'm very important for him and similar things. And I definitely love him very much as a friend.
Just, maybe recently I began having some feelings for him...I say maybe because it could Ve different if we ever meet "face to face", and because I don't have much experience with boys (or with my feelings in general) and so I could maybe make confusion between love and a very strong friendship. But yes, maybe. He's so nice to me and interacting with him makes me happy and he makes me feel good about myself.
Plus, I began thinking that he may have similar feelings too...again, I'm not sure...but from some things he says sometimes I have this impression. When he says very nice things about how I look physically and about how he likes me as a person, it could maybe just be for a strong friendship, but again, I'm not sure...I had that impression, that's it.
The problem is...I have to admit that I'm not sure to be strong enough for something similar Surely this is a kind of relationship that would have many difficulties. I'm not a very independent person, though I don't have physical problems...but for anxiety and other things I think to need someone who can take care about me, be " the strong one". I'm also not very independent with driving and doing things at home and going to places alone and so on. So, probably it would be too difficult for me...
I feel sad to think like this, because having a mental disorder I'd like to find someone who can accept this and love me how I am, and I feel bad not to can do this for someone else I care about. But while when we chat the wheelchair seems not to even exist, in a real relationship we would have to face it...
Sometimes I think that what counts is that a boy loves me and makes me happy, sometimes I think that having my vulnerabilities myself I need to think also about practical things and to can find in a partner the support I need.
Maybe he doesn't even has these feelings, but if he tells me something I wouldn't know what to do...to even consider the idea or not.
I don't even know what I'm asking exactly...I know you can't tell me what to do, but I'd like your opinions however, or your personal experiences. Are these relationships really as difficult as they seem?
Surely, what I absolutely don't want is to start a relationship and them have to break it because I'm not strong enough and makes us both suffer. I would never ever want to hurt my friend, or to lose his friendship that is so important for me.
Thank you.