I’m so sorry you’re hurting Sarah.

I’m here because I had a painful termination recently too. I joined this forum because aside from writing here, I’m not sure what more I can do to process my feelings. My therapist is gone and out of the picture now, and that’s where I would have gone for help . I know we are internet strangers, but I feel your loss to my core.

I haven’t had contact with my therapist in over a month. It’s felt like mourning and like I’m processing a big loss. In terms of how the first month of no contact has been going for me - I cried on and off for the first two weeks and cried for the pain I believe therapy has caused me. For the second two weeks, I’ve been trying to piece myself together and move forward. I’ve been questioning a lot, getting angry a lot, and every day is different.

My therapy termination was sudden, though in my control. I simply just snapped and had enough with how therapy was making me feel (unimportant, disempowered, controlled, excessively vulnerable, sensitive to nuances, and all around pathetic). Also very enmeshed and attached to my therapist which made it nearly impossible to break free from. It wasn’t until I went ‘no contact’ that I could assess how deeply into transference I was, and how damaging that was to me. As much as you are upset about a sudden termination, in a way I feel like you avoided weeks/months of drawn out abandonment. Sometimes ripping off the bandaid is more humane in the long run.

Anyway, I know I’ve just been sharing but wanted you to know that there’s someone out there that knows how you feel. Hugs (if wanted) and hope you find the closure you need soon.