Yes, I am working on changing my thoughts.

I get very graphic, images of death in my head several times a week. Sometimes about someone else's death, and sometimes my own.

Last night, I woke up once to use the bathroom, and I usually sleep well. Then out of the blue as I was about to drift back to sleep....like a flash, I saw myself on a roof of a skyscraper, standing on the ledge, and a person ran up to me to push me off. I saw myself fall, and the blood, and broken body parts etc. I thought about the brain injury, and cracked skull. It lasted for a few scenes playing in my head like a movie. Different versions of the deathly fall. Then I did fall back asleep, and woke up fine in the morning.

In the counselling I have had here and there in the past, I never really opened up about this aspect of my mental anguish. I just had an appointment with her earlier this week, and I'll attribute my opening up about this, to this site. I wrote about it a little in one post, and someone replied, which prompted me to do something about it.

The therapist did EMDR with me. She is certified trauma trained.