I knew I wasn't missing out.
I went to a new years
Party with my parents
Because my pals had
No idea where they
Were going to end up.
So my parents Would
Have made me get
Back for the bells
At new year at 12.
And not going at all
Would mean that
I wouldn't get
Laughed at, at school
For still having a curfew
When In was fifteen.
And I was relieved
I never joined 4s3x and
The bubbly girl who
Was in our gang
For a while. Because
They played spin the
Bottle. I had kissed boys.
Still, I would have hated it.
And considering they
Evaluated everybodies
Kissing ability, I breathed
A sight of relief.
I watched chewing
The fat with the
Adults until I was
Bored then went
And played spyro the Dragon
With the oldest kids up stairs.
Then came back down
And spoke with
With women in kitchen
Had a couple of
Blue wickeds and food.
Then got bored
And listened to
Some songs, to recoup
Back up stairs,
Pretending I was back
On the play station.
When really I was
Thinking I should be
With my pals. Or
That somebody would
Be wondering why
I wasn't with pals.
But I couldnt invite
A Friend to this
Party for an hour
Because my friends
Were nuts! And would
Have been half cut.
My parents would
Have made them leave.

I could have met
Them for a while
Then went back
To the Party,
But negotiating with
My parents was
A war I would never win.
What's wrong with
Spending new year
With your family
And family friends anyway?
My pals parents
Didn't do anything so
They had to find
Their own entertainment.
When I was 18
Going to my local
Pub was great
Some weekends and
I was happy being
Around familiar people
I grew up with.
And meeting new folk.
If there was a competition
Night it was packed.
It wasn't half bad.
So I missed the boat.
I can find another way.
I'll find a job where
I can be trained up.
I can study online.
I can get an apprenticeship.
A woman tried to
Get me a job
At a distillery but
I didn't have a car.
I was lucky this
Ruled me out of
An interview as I doubt
I would not
Have had the confidence
To trump the competition
At the time.
And I'm not sure
I was ready for
This type of job.
The bottling line, possibly.
But they knew
I Was supposed to be bright
So they put a word In
For me to train
As a tour guide.
I felt so obtuse
For getting my hopes up,
And letting them down.
I could never have
Afforded a car
Without help on the 16-18
Year olds wage.
I would have to save
Up for the car.
Which would have
Taken the best part
Of a year. Even
A scooter would
Have taken time
And on stormy days
I couldnt chance it.
And to be honest
I didn't fancy my
Chances of surviving
When on a scooter
If an accident occurred.

Me and Fred dropped
In to my parents pals
One new year,
After being up town
And Fred was bored to tears.
We came the
Following new year.
After being at one
Of Freds friends parties.
We left to go
To Irish bar and
The guy was wrecked.
We decided to split.
So we popped past
My mum and dad's pals
And then seen
My grand parents.
We didn't want
To go to the town hall.
If it wasn't great
Or not busy and taxis
Home near impossible.
So see friends, see
What towns like
Then end the night
First footing at family.
Best of both worlds.
The new year
I turned nineteen
Is still lodged in
My memory. My
Life was in turmoil.
But the proclaimers
Came on when it
Hit 12 and a whole
Bunch of us got
In a circle and danced.
Friends and friends of friends.
Linked shoulder to shoulder.
My pal got snapping.
And it was a happy moment.
Best night out
I ever had in my hometown.
I just forgot about
The depression I was in.
And felt part of
Something for the
First time in six months
After I had been un well.
Best Hogmanay I had.