The funeral was absolutely awful. I had no idea how much I’d be triggered. Just seeing his fiancé caused me to break down In tears because it brought it all back. It was one of the hardest days of my life. I really thought I would be ok but I wasn’t.

I’m going to be gentle with myself and hopefully fall asleep early. I slept horribly last night. Only got about four hours. I guess I was up thinking about the funeral.