Ugh, started a post, and the computer froze.

Regarding trying to repair my relationship with my daughter (nearly 11 years old).I am grateful it does not seem to be too late to work on it. T tells me look at the big picture, think of what my options and behaviors might be and which will cause more harm in the long run before taking action I am likely to later regret.

Yesterday, I was tired after dinner. H had to work late, and my daughter was bored. I didn’t have energy to do much but thought I could at least put together a boxed no bake dessert kit. I asked her if she wanted to do that, and she was immediately washing her hands and ready. I messed up on the first step (not on purpose either, luckily not affecting the overall dessert), but my daughter found it funny and insisted she read all the directions.

She had fun making the dessert, and it tasted good after the refrigeration time, but first, it gave me time to praise her for various parts of the assembly, and then afterwards, she started talking to me, a lot. Not about surface stuff, which had been the situation lately, but things going on at school with her friends, etc. Not as much as she talks to H, but at least a start. H and she have talked about deeper issues, but at least it is a start. I had no idea doing so little would make her so happy and open up so much. In fact, I don’t think she stopped talking for over 2 hours, and that was once H got home, and it was her bedtime.

So, wow. So little can do so much for a kid.

I played with her most of today (I had promised to earlier in the week due to her extremely good behavior when I slept in on Tuesday and she rushed getting ready for school, something neither of us likes). I played her doll game, which is very tedious and long, but she loves it. We took a few breaks like for lunch, feeding the cats, but we ended up playing a lot longer than I had initially promised, which made her extremely happy. I didn’t play that much longer to get into her good graces, more because she didn’t seem to want to end the play, but by 3 PM, I was tired and she wanted to do a game on her tablet. I definitely needed some down time before making dinner.

Tired, but happy too about being given more chances than I deserve with my daughter. I have.a resolution (though it is not New Years) to do my best to be a better mom to her. I am going to find out and list things we can do when I am verytired, upset, hurting, panicky.

Also discussing with H consulting a lawyer to sue regarding malpractice and the part of the psych ER the police took me to) still demanding money too), but the place treated me terribly, not letting me use the bathroom for over 3 hours when I’d told the policeman I had to go on our arrival. The policeman was actually just doing his job, I think. 2 or 3 times he nearly took me to the bathroom until the psych place said not too. What on earth? I was so desperate, I would have peed in a cup and consented to them testing for everything under the sun. H wants to look at malpractice lawyers, getting opinions there as the psych ER did a lot of things wrong, insisting the policeman handcuff me to a bench. I had been 100% cooperative, not causing a scene, no yelling or dramaticsin fact he left me unrestrained until they told him to restrain me. Many other things too. H thinks it is worth looking into suing them because they violated at least half the patients ‘ bill of rights in psych cases (even involuntary ones like mine). I do not blame the policeman at all. He wanted to do the least stressful thing and see to needs like needing the restroom until the psych people told him no.

But oh, well. That is for another day,