It's common for clinical people to CYA (cover your a s s). Nothing that happened was your fault. Also, because someone did something nice for you once doesn't diminish their accountability or cancel out something abusive or harmful that was done later. However, there is something to think about in making the best of things. Can you focus on ways in which she helped and when you might have felt cared about? Think of the good during your time with her?

A list of grievances with therapists seem to be growing, though this wasn't your fault, the solution can only be within you. Maybe you can give yourself some time to grieve and process this, but I hope you don't spiral down; as you said, in the lonliness and hopelessness.

You seem like you are really coming from a place of disempowerment. Is there anything people here can help with?

Also, I wonder if you've checked out any psychoanalytic societies near you? They often offer low cost and sometimes free therapy. I see you have some strengths and wonder if you are amenable to that type of therapy.