I am a horrible person.

I love animals...all animals...even creepy ones, no matter what I say to the contrary. Cats are my current favorite. As some people here know, I live on a farm...complete with barn cats. We feed the cats sometimes, especially in the winter when it is difficult for them to hunt.

The cats know our cars...when they see us driving up the road they immediately start running toward the house or the barn. Whichever direction we are headed. While we can't pet them or cuddle them, we still love them.

So Friday hubby and I got home in the cold and the cats were gathered around the car as we got out. We shut the door, hurried inside, and fed them out front.

This afternoon, hubby went to get the car and found a barn cat on the front seat. Somehow, she had gotten trapped in the car. We think she jumped in as we got out. It was as cold as 4 degrees this weekend. Needless to say, she did not make it.

I am so upset. I feel so guilty. I am responsible for the death of an animal. I'm so beside myself, I dread to think what will happen when my indoor kitties (my babies) eventually pass. I keep thinking about the horrible things she went through. I am trying to do things to keep my mind off of it. But everytime I think about it, I want to be sick.

I'm a horrible person.