Hello Lily: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral. Two other forums, here on PC, that may be of interest would be the depression forum & the coping with emotions forum. Here are links to these forums:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/depression/

https://forums.psychcentral.com/coping-with-emotions/

I'm not a mental health professional. So I can't tell you what's going on with you yourself. But, based on what you wrote, it sounds to me as though perhaps you yourself have now fallen victim to depression. From what I know, it is not unusal for the spouse of a person who struggles with depression to fall into depression as well. So I think, perhaps, the answer here may be for you to seek the services of a mental health therapist with whom you talk through what you are experiencing (& possibly a psychiatrist if you find that antidepressant medication is needed.)

The other part of your dilemma is, however, what to do in terms of your relationship with your husband. It's unclear to me exactly what your husband's situation is at present... whether he's still actively being treated for his depression, taking medications, continuing to be successfully employed, etc. Perhaps what is needed here is for him to also be seeing a mental health therapist (& possibly a psychiatrist for medications if he's not currently doing so.) If he is still on psychiatric medications perhaps a review of what he's taking would be in order.

Of course all of this presumes that your husband recognizes he is struggling, wants to get better, & is willing to do what he needs to do in order to heal. If he will not, then there may be little you can do to make him change him mind. And, under those circumstances, you may then be put in a position of having to decide how much more you can take & for how long. Here again, that would be something that it might make sense to talk through, at-length & in-depth, with the help of a counselor or mental health therapist.

Here are links to 8 articles, from PsychCentral's archives, that may help to give you some perspective with regard to your circumstances:

Am I Depressed or Just Lazy?

You Can Only Change Yourself

Denial is a Powerful Impediment to Treatment

https://psychcentral.com/blog/11-way...-denial/?all=1

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to...essional-help/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/when-me...s-for-couples/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/5-ways...ner-to-change/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/10-ways...hos-depressed/

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.