I’m doing okay. I’ve been taken 10 mg of Zyprexa. I need to go back to 5 mg like I’m supposed to be on. Miguel’s been ripping at his face and head. I don’t know how to stop it. His cousin has started picking It’s horribly heartbreaking. We talked about IP for him but my husband doesn’t want him to feel abandoned or like he did something wrong. IOP interferes with his classes. He’s looking at the close State University so he can go slowly and still get financial aid, live in the dorm and keep his psych team. That’s if he doesn’t get into his top college pick. I want the local University. He’s applying to 8 state universities because he doesn’t think he’ll get into one. The one he wants has a therapist. I’m questioning whether he should get a single or double. We have a year and half to decide. We just need to save the money now for his applications $240 and his SATs. I’m really concerned because he’s regressing fast and I don’t know what to do. So I’m trying to help him see his future but I don’t want him to feel pressured. He’s already too hard on himself. I wish I could just take his pain away. I vaguely fear for his life. He hasn’t said anything but he’s slipping into not talking, responding, or even looking at you. Just a total shut down. He’s not even talking to his friends. They’re messaging me. I don’t know if it’s depression, or ASD or what. We no longer have a car to bring him to therapy but he refuses to talk and looks like he’s looking through you. So I don’t think therapy would help. He’s following short direct directions. I don’t think it’s been this bad since early elementary school. I just don’t know. It feels like I’m losing him. I’m even thinking of doing the program he did when he was in elementary school that helped him. His dad and I are in crisis mode. So we are swallowing our depression to help him.