I know it helps to cope when those emotions build up and get to be too much to deal with. I feel safer when I'm using SI regularly and frequently too, because if I try stopping, everything really builds up, and then when I get to the point that I don't care about resisting anymore, it will be worse. But it isn't an effective way to deal with things. There is something behind wanting to hurt yourself, and as long as you avoid dealing with that, it doesn't really get better. SI is not really different from other coping mechanisms like drugs or alcohol, etc., since they are all ways to avoid facing the real problem. Healthier ways to cope would be things like talking it out or otherwise confronting the problem directly. I know that's hard though.

I feel that it really takes some professional help to overcome this. And you don't have to go cold turkey. A good therapist will understand that you can't be expected to give up your coping mechanism before you have something to replace it. Maybe you could ask your therapist for help with learning other ways to cope?

I know it helps, and I know it's not suicidal behavior, and I know you don't do it to hurt other people. Still, it hurts other people. If they didn't care about you, it wouldn't bother them, but they do.

You're welcome to come here and vent. That's one of those healthier ways to cope. I hope that you feel welcome here and know that you can come and get support as much as you need to.

Rapunzel