yes sometimes I have mixed feelings too (your word ambivalent) in regards to getting my needs met.

what I have learned is that since I am an adult not a minor its up to me to meet my needs, its others responsibility to meet my needs.

how I do that is sit down and figure out what I am needing at that moment and how I can meet that need....

example if I have a need for someone to act like a parent with me I sit down and write out ways I can parent myself.

another example... if I have a need for my treatment provider to treat me like a needy child I know thats an unreasonable need because I am not my treatment providers child, I am their client. they also dont have the parental bond with me to just know when I need something from them.

instead I sit down and write on what I am feeling that I need and whether that is something that my treatment provider can with in the scope of their job do ...........with.............me, not for me like a parent but ......with..........me.

A therapist job isnt to treat me like their child dependent upon them. their job is to help me become self nurturing, self reliant, an independent adult capable of handling my own problems. I try and keep this in mind when I feel like that needy child.

Just today in therapy I told my therapist ...I feel like a child needing something. my therapist said to me ...well sorry forgot to put in my all knowing third eye can you tell me what you need? and I said I need someone to hold me and tell me what to do. she said I cant tell you what to do, I can help you look at the pros and cons and you decide what you need to do. Then she sat there waiting for me to .......ask....... I found my words and said I am going to wrap up in this blanket and just sit, will you come sit with me for a bit and hold me. She said now that you have asked yes I can do that with you. then we sat there for a few minutes quietly, then together while still sitting this way talked through the pros and cons of the situation and then I told her what I felt I needed to do about it.

((((((Fuzzy ))))))) I am sorry you have had such a rough road with treatment providers. maybe you can find one that you will be able to get your needs met, not by the therapist giving them to you, but by the two of you working together in a way that you will be able to meet your own needs.

in the mean time maybe you can sit down and write out what your needs are and pick a few that you can do for yourself and see how that goes.