I feel good today. I applied for two jobs the boyfriend and I have agreed its time for me to at least try. I applied for the Activities Director for a nursing home and to be a referral coordinator for another medical office. It would be big step for me since they are both full time and we talked about part time employment; but I feel I'm ready. I know it will be a struggle with the anxiety but I figure if its less public and more office work than it shouldn't be so bad.

I know it will be hard since I am also trying to get my Bachelor's degree at the same time but as one of my professor's said today. "If your dreams don't scare you, then the are not big enough; and I think I'm chasing something huge.

I still haven't heard anything from the Cardiology office so i figure if I don't hear anything tomorrow I'll call Wednesday and just check in.

If I can rant for just one second I'm annoyed with how many Cardiologist there are in my area compared to Psychiatrists; but my biggest issue is getting a pdoc to accept crappy state insurance. Maybe if I can nail one of the above positions I might be able to see one that doesn't neglect their patients. I am feeling for the most part stable with my current combo that my family doctor and I have discovered.

I hope everyone has a good night.