You do have every right to hate him. But I think what's in your own best interest might be a different path. You say he said he was sorry, and for a man, that's a big apology. I can understand your needing more though, and if you can, go get it. If you have someone IRL to talk with first, such as a school/college counselor, or even a therapist for short term, you will find strength and words to confront your dad with just how much he hurt you, and how you are still having issues with his ruining your childhood. It could bring real healing for you, should you find a way to do this. I wish you well. You do need to work through this, and posting here was a great way to begin! Welcome to PC. (((hug)))