Jeez Mac. First, you're not old. You THINK you are old .Big difference. You are ,i think, 63. That's not old. If you were 93 maybe. Maybe you should try working part time or taking up new hobbies . Try different things. Maybe start a vlog on youtube. 'Old man abroad'. Mac , why is it that you have got yourself into this way of thinking. Did you feel like this when you were working?. Did something happen to knock your confidence?
I think you said you have tried counselling, but maybe it was the wrong sort of counselling. If travelling always makes you feel like this , why do it? Or do you feel better once you get somewhere. What are your interests? I know you're lonely. I think half the world is loony ...sorry lonely... typo... maybe not.