An update...

I am very excited to be going to school. My goal in life is to follow my passions, and having an education will provide me with much more opportunities to do so. Caregiving was the spark that wanted me to pursue nursing, and with an education I will be following my passions while having an income that will provide for myself and one day my own family. Thank you for all who is supporting me while I transition into that college life!

A dear friend of mine told me yesterday, "Follow your heart"...boy, I don't hear that enough! This year will be my year of following my heart, practicing self-care, and discovering who I am. I've already made the big step to enroll in school, and that will do wonders for all those things, but it's also important for me to find work. I've been recommended to a certain company by three different people, and today the guidance counselor recommended a company that "all the nursing students work for", so now I have two big options that will work with my class schedule but will also prepare my for my nursing pathway. The guidance counselor also recommended taking the CNA courses as it will "add 1000 points" to my nursing application, and it will also increase my pay in a caregiving company. It's so great to have options!

Practicing self-care is always an ongoing process. I have a solid list of tried and true ways I cope with day to day life, but I also like to come up with new ways to reduce stress and find balance in my life. A strict diet and exercise regime brings me great joy to know that I am putting good things into my body and keeping my body fit, and a small portion of Mom's cooking after a day of mindful eating is always a yummy reward. I've rediscovered my love for reading. I try to read two books a week: one "educational" book, such as Cesar Millan's dog training books to prepare myself for my own dog (please, Mom?) or a book about the elderly to keep learning about my pathway, and then a "recreational" book, which is typically memoirs or science/nature books. As educational as they are, I love getting wrapped up in real-life adventures and to me they are more fun than fiction, because "WOW! This stuff actually happened!?" I also got back into bubble baths, listening to certain music that reminds me of good times real and imaginary, and I've also taken responsibility of walking Max, not only because I want to prove I'm a good dog owner, but because I made a promise to his owner that I'd take good care of him, and furthermore, Max is a senior dog and I do keep my elderly clients' well-being in mind, even if they have four legs. 😛

Last, but not least, and certainly not the easiest, is to discover who I am. What does that even mean? There's often this broad generalization question, "What do I want in life?" and I know it certainly doesn't mean what job do I want to do for the rest of my life. But I know there are some questions that I myself want to be asking, and I'll keep those thoughts private, but what does it mean to discover who I am? Does it mean to come to terms with that damn belly fat and my muffin top? Does it mean I choose between boys or girls or both? What I look for in a partner? Does it mean self-improvement, and in which areas? Do I go on a shroom binge and have some epiphany upon return from reality? I'm not really sure what "discover myself" should mean and be put into action, but I guess I'll discover that in time.

If you read that, congratulations, thanks for sticking it out. Haha. Right now, my focus is school and work, and I'll check back from time to time, any thoughts or hugs are appreciated.

Also, one more update, I broke up with my girlfriend. Our relationship was very complicated, not only was it long distance but she is also polysexual and I came to realize I was never really okay with being someone's "one of many", even if she means the world to me. We both agreed we are best friends first and foremost and that will never change, and she said someday down the road we can reevaluate our feelings for each other.