Wow! What a great list. Very accurate. It's the same with relatives. I called a cousin I hadn't seen for a long time. When I brought up visiting each other, I asked if she had a car. Her reply was: Oh I drive, I just don't drive very far.

She said this knowing I lived about 40 minutes from her. So she made a declaration that she wouldn't be making that long drive. That meant I had to drive to her if we were to visit. To me this states: I'd love to visit you, as long as I don't have to lift a finger.

I think it's easier to just not visit each other at all. To me, it sounds like it's a bother to make an effort to make a visit. So I doubt I'll ever see that cousin again, because it's simply not important. So your list includes what I just described. If you, Claire, want this relationship, Claire, you have to do all the work. To me, that's not a relationship, that's a convenience of companionship.