I don’t like myself or my attitude towards others. I especially have trouble with family. For a long time, I’ve dreamt of running away and never speaking to my family again. That would be justified except they’ve done nothing bad to me and they seem to care. However, I don’t wanns be associated with them for some reason. It’s always been like that. I hate having to rely on them at all. Even asking for the smallest of things make me feel incapable.

I’m pretty much an asshole to my grandmother. . She is the person who raised me. I’m sure deep down I feel bad but while talking to her it just seems like i lack any empathy. We argued constantly at home and every time she calls now we argue. Except those rare ocassions where I’m in a good mood.