Great Topic!!!

Yep I am living in poverty and wish I wasn't.

No matter how much I try to pull myself up there has been many barriers in my way leaving me in this poverty trap as I have called it.

I have complex trauma from my childhood. Became disabled 17 yrs ago because of it. With that I got SSDI and useless medicare.

Prior becoming disabled my life was very different. I was middle class and it was really living the dream looking back. I had a good job I was with for 15 yrs, had a nice savings acct, 401k, was very well regarded in my field and by my coworkers. Had the house the car and lost all that when I became disabled just trying to stay afloat waiting for the disability to be approved.

I don't even know that person I used to be seems so distant of where I am today.

If anyone who has been disabled with medicare for mental illness will know back in the early 2000s the co pay's were very high 40% to be exact. To see a therapist it was $300 and 40% co-pay was too much on such limited income. To see the therapist 4x a month at that rate would cost $480.
Little math 800$ a month SSDI (early 2000s) Rent 600 + medicare prem +100 =$700. $100 left for the month. There was no room in this constricting budget to do therapy. So I opted to go the medication route. It was more cost effective I thought initially. $50 4 times a year to see a Psych doc was all I could afford. It was the biggest mistakes of my life going that route. Going to make this part short as I can. As a result of taking many different psych meds it caused me to grind my teeth bad. I would report it back t doc and they switched to another and the grinding continued. In 2007 the damage was beyond repair with my teeth from these meds and I had to have them all removed. I had a charity remove the teeth as I learned Medicare covered no dental and did not qualify for Medicaid. The charity that removed the teeth had me set up with another program for dentures and unfortunately they lost funding so no dentures. This is where I learned there is two sides of being poor. A few dollars separated me from getting medicaid.
that would of helped me immensely. It has all the things medicare lacks!!!!!

**side note 2008 the mental health parity law changed those 40% co-pays to 20% + included Medicare advantage plan - that did not help with the dental nor was it cost effective for therapy copays** Side rant it amazes me the SSA grants a disability and gives a insurance that pays little to no coverage for the disability granted? yet I am the crazy one in their eyes?? IMO those continuing disability reviews need to be more frequent and do more thorough reviews to make sure the people are getting the proper treatments.

Moving forward 2018. Still no teeth. I am the poster child of what poverty looks like with the absence of teeth. I have been the brunt of jokes and dirty looks and it wears at ones self esteem. It is hard going into the world with no teeth. It has made my anxiety worse of how mean people have been. It leaves me very isolated I have no friends (no family - cut ties too toxic yrs ago) I can not get a job. Recently I submitted a resume for a job that was perfect for me. The employer was eager to meet with me. However that fell apart because of the teeth issue. I have not been in a relationship in over 8 yrs hard to date with no teeth. So that need of closeness and connectedness has been absent for so many yrs. It's hard for me to relate to people these days being I am so far pushed to the fringes of society by this poverty. I feel judged by neighbors I see them leave in morning and come home later in the day and I did absolutely nothing with my day. I miss that feeling of being productive, earning my own money and being apart of this society...

In retrospect and being a survivor of abuse and was able to get away from all that of my past.... the biggest abuser TODAY is this damn system. It gripe is tighter on me...I fight everyday (medicare/medicaid/ssa etc) I can not break free from it as badly as I want to be independent as I was so many yrs ago.

imo poverty is another form of trauma