I wish I knew. I've been mixed since late March 2018. Up, down, up, down, it's like a rollercoaster or something. Often, I will have both moods in sync; sometimes not. Right now, it's like I woke up at 3 AM and couldn't sleep, still don't miss the sleep, but my mood is depressed. My thoughts are racing. My self-esteem is in the gutter. I forget things all the time. I didn't have much appetite this morning but then noticed I had taken my morning meds twice. I don't remember doing it, but I was straightening the pill boxes. I noticed both the W and following T empty. Don't think I did that yesterday, but God, knows, maybe I took Tues. and Wed. yesterday, morning and/or night in addition to yesterday's meds. Probably today though as I am not missing the lack of sleep. This about sums up my life. Feel I weigh too much. I need to watch X show I recorded on DVR. I want to be left alone. I'm sick of a silent house. I want to cook more. Then, dinner comes, I don't want to cook.

I've set reminders on my phone and iPad for a lot of things I normally don't, such as time to wake my daughter, time to pick my daughter up from school, 45 minutes to go check on washing machine & move clothes to dryer, 1 hr. to check dryer. Start dinner. Start rice as side dish for dinner, etc. I mean, it is that bad.

I am ready for the cycle to end. I triple check about everything before I leave any place public for wallet, cell phone, keys. It might seem OCD, but I have driven off, leaving my debit card at a drive-thru ATM.

Pretty much mixed sucks. Wish I had better advice. I am planning on asking the pdoc about this next week. Just how do I get out of mixed without crashing & burning at one end or the other? Is there another med combo to try? Is it my life is crazy unstable & stressful, not much is likely to help beyond therapy?