hey, a fresh newbie here, hopefully everyone here is nice and we can get along well.

sooo, idk if it would be considered physical abuse since a lot of parents here see it as a way to discipline their kids (i personally do NOT agree with it at all), but my mom hits me quite a bit???

when i was a kid she was very gentle and sweet towards me, basically treating me as the most fragile porcelain doll that ever was, but when i turned 8 we had to move, and her whole demeanor changed. she became more aggressive and hotheaded,half of the time we interacted together was when i made a tiny mistake she'd yell for hours, and was too busy too acknowledge me the other half of the time since her work was hardd.

things took an even worse turn when my eyesight got wayyy worse. i was at -4 at 8 years old, which was apparently quite rare. on the way home my mom yelled at me endlessly and kept on telling me that i would go blind at this rate, giving me horrible anxiety when entering any eye doctors office, and, developing a harsh fear of the dark for a bit where i couldn't sleep at night unless my body forced me to.

my mom became physically aggressive around this time, she hit me with her heels, step on my stomach, drag my around by my hair, punch me, one time even chocked me, this only ends when i have enough time to escape, close my room door, beg my dad to help calm her down while she tries breaking the door open. it was fair to say that a lot of my body was covered in bruises

you see, my mom doesn't mean to do this, it's like when she's angry she blanks out and turns into a completely new person, afterwards i don/t think she even remembers what happened. she acts like we didn't get into a fight in years ( definitely not true), and are the best of friends (also not true).

the only time she does this sort of thing and kinda acknowledges it is when, i got to the eye doctor. now at 14, my eye sight is at -11 and i'm at a high risk of going blind because of extremely weak eye muscles, mom always hits me and blames me for this out of fear, but afterwards she tries making it up for me by taking me out to eat or shop, since she knows how much i hate the experience.

when my mom and i fight we fight. we are in no way even resembling a healthy mother and daughter relationship, but when i bring it up to my closest friends, and family members they shrug it off and say it's because i push her buttons a lot without meaning to, or another roundabout way to say that my mom is not in the wrong, i am. i should mention that a few of my foreign friends say that i should be concerned.

please tell me what you think.