I've known this person for over half my life. I've cared for him deeply. I dont want to drudge up the whole story, but a few years ago he did something that really triggered me. He basically used me for his own purposes and then tossed me like garbage. There was a lot of drama and ups and downs. I ended up pretty messed up from it all and he was seemingly unscathed.

2 years no contact and I decided to Google him. He's out there with a post talking about how people should have more sympathy for toxic people. It ends up making people with personality disorders out to be monsters. Hes acting like the nice guy.

So I sent him a message saying how he hurt me, about my mental health stuff and telling him that he was toxic for me. Basically before you go preaching, look in the mirror. Communication was cut off.

Now I just feel a seething rage/hate for him. I am hurt that I feel everything so deeply and he feels nothing at all. He talks of compassion and has shown none. He looks perfect to everyone.....except all the people who saw what I went through.

I dont want to hate him. I dont want to feel anything towards him. I want to move on. However here I am up at midnight ruminating about the whole situation. Clearly step 1 is committing to not Google him ever again. I know with time the hatred will fade, but I've only ever hated one person before in my life. It took me over a decade before I wasnt angry whenever I thought of him. I want to speed this process up.

How do I forgive someone who isnt sorry? How do I release this anger and hurt? How can I make peace with the situation? Specific tips would help me so much. I am not good with emotional stuff.