It used to be that pre-diagnosis I felt like I had a good grip on depression, but now I'm afraid to experience it. When depression comes, I fight the urge to indulge in it by not listening to negative thinking, not listening to depressing music, not putting myself in isolation, etc because I need to keep doing and keep moving constantly so I can be strong and positive and be this happy-go-lucky person no matter how badly I hurt inside. It's harder for me to accept depression and cope with it rather than run from it with the notion that depression isn't productive or constructive. It doesn't help feeling sad all the time, but I also realize that if I don't deal with it, it bottles up inside me and turns into anger and leads to destructive behavior.

How do I accept my state of depression and work through it in a healthy way?