Sometimes when a change like this happens, one where we feel we’ve lost, it is hard to trust that perhaps, in the long run, things might just work out despite our fears. I hate change. I hate change that leaves me feeling I’m being put upon and the other party isn’t being affected at all.

One thing I have to just force myself to do when I find myself if that kind of situation, is to slow down, take a deep breath (or a hundred deep breaths), accept the situation is what it is even if I think it stinks, and plow forward giving it a shot. That’s hard because, for me, the anxiety and anger is all about feeling a loss of control. But usually, given some time, the reality is that I find a way to adapt. I calm down and realize it isn’t as bad as I imagined it would be. I realize that in my mind I had honestly blown the issue up emotionally to be bigger than it ended up being in reality once I gave things some space and time. And . . .my sense of control returns.

Not sure how helpful that will be. It took me multiple situations before I finally started realizing that in almost every single case, what I’ve said above was true for me. I still have to remind myself each and every time. I still have to literally work to breathe and accept and allow the situation time. I guess I’ve come to realize that actively working to take care to find that sense of peace about those kinds of situations IS maintaining my own locus of control.