I dont know if I'm being needy. But I just got out of a severe panic attack. I haven't had one In a few months. My brain was talking ****. It felt so real :

Brain: dont you dare eat you fat piece of crap

Me: I haven't had anything since breakfast

Brain: you ate so much breakfast. You even helped your partner finish his you fat mole

Me: I didnt eat dinner the night before I was hungry

Brain: the vodka you are drinking is enough calories.
Dont you remember how fat you got and how much you weighed this morning?

Me: I'm trying to be healthy and balanced

Brain : have you seen yourself? Even your bf would have sex with you last night because he 'was tired'

Me: crys cos I cant do uni and I'm having a panic attack. I wont eat.

I reached out to my partner cos I was hyperventilating and felt like I was gonna die. Still not currently recovered.
Maybe I'm mad but is it bad of me to expect him to come see me and be worried. He gave me advice over txt but if it was reversed roles I'd be going to his straight away cos I love him and care. Or at least calling.

I just need to be held.
I'm home alone and shits bad. He knows that too.
Am I asking to much? I mean I didnt ask but I just thought since we have been together over 2 years he would be here for me.

Advice please