I get that, the feelings/expression is hard for me too. After all this time, I STILL shut down/avoid things regularly. I feel like I frustrate him at times

My T also wants me to express my anger etc but I have no idea how. The only times I've ever been able to cry was by reading out loud something I wrote but I only ALLOWED myself to feel it once, the other time I quickly wiped my face and started joking around.

I don't see me ever changing with feelings and expression. Even if I can with T eventually, I likely wont with other people. Sigh...

Anyway I wish you luck in whatever you do with this, I can understand feeling stuck