I agree that what you stated above is what I’m aiming for. Otherwise I’m not sure I know or can articulate the problem. What I do know is that I am able to process my thoughts and feelings more deeply and express complex thoughts more effortlessly via email. I have a very hard time doing this in the moment and in person with my T. I’m not sure why that is. I think he’s trying to push things in that direction by no longer responding to my emails. He said his job is not to make me feel comfortable and he wants to do therapy in person and not virtually. I completely get that. I do feel like there is a barrier to intimacy with the way we are doing things now. I just wish we could have talked about this first before he suddenly stopped responding to my emails. That seems like a strange way for a T to respond. He has expressed to me many times that he supports my sending him emails, saying that he understands every client is different, and I have understood that his email responses will be brief so that we can discuss in person. It feels to me that he did a sudden 180 on this philosophy with no warning or discussion. This makes me feel like he’s unreliable. What else might he change on a whim? Why was he outwardly supportive of my emailing when now it appears that he was likely not really supportive of this? So, to me there are 2 issues:

1. No longer responding to emails
2. The way he handled communicating #1 to me

I think I can eventually accept #1, but I have a hard time with #2.