I listened to a voicemail I had left for my husband once and was so shocked to hear what sounded like a young child.It was the most cringe worthy moment I think I had experienced.The realization that I really was DID and what my therapist had diagnosed me with was true blew me away.Which led to all the questions and thoughts you are going through.

I went through a sort of existential crisis over it for awhile.

I know that's different than what you're talking about but still,thought I would at least say something to let you know you're being heard.