I share that stand-up-to-the-father thing you identified, and watched my younger sibling be complacent so he didn't have to suffer like I did. It took a lot out of me as a child to have to spend so much energy not backing down, that once I left the house I think it took the ground under my feet and I had to learn how to be in a world where people (mostly) weren't trying to attack me all the time. That the defenses I had to use in childhood were very consuming and finding other ways to be in relation to people and myself took a long time to stabilize. They are still ongoing now. I struggled with SH and engaged in relationships where I had to find who I was in relation to other people. It was like I was using my own past to wreck up my present, then I found my freedom in studying in the field I'm still in, and it felt like for the first time that I was able to use my past in standing up to powerful people to my advantage. Luckily in my graduate school the powerful people loved it when students said what they really thought, so I was able to thrive there. That grounded me so I could work on the less tangilble things.

It sounds like this session was something of a turning point for you and you were brave in telling your T what you needed to. Great work.