Hello Cacticat: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral.

I don't know as there is a lot I can tell you with regard to your concern. (Hopefully other more knowledgeable members, here on PC, will read your post & reply.) What I can tell you is that, nowadays, fewer people think of sexual orientation as simply being one thing or the other... straight or gay. We've come to realize that sexual orientation occurs on a continuum with straight & gay perhaps being at the opposite ends of the spectrum. (At least that's the way I've come to perceive it.) And many of us, perhaps most of us actually, fall somewhere in between the two ends of the spectrum.

So, in your husband's case, perhaps he's very close to the straight end of the spectrum. But perhaps there's just a twinge of gay interest within his make up as well? (I don't know of course. I'm just speculating here.) I don't think that would be unusual. And it doesn't mean he's going to suddenly come roaring out of the closet & announce he's gay & wants a divorce. Chances are it just means he's pretty darn normal... & perhaps a bit more honest & open than most men are. It could also be, though, that the thoughts your husband mentioned having are simply idle thoughts that are really of no particular significance at all. I do think it would be possible to attach way more significance to this than it perhaps deserves.

You mentioned you had a fear of marrying someone who is gay before you met your husband possibly as a result of knowing someone whom this happened to. Although I don't know a lot about it, from what I've read here on PC, there does seem to be such as thing as homosexual OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). I've read a number of posts here written by members who felt they were struggling with this. Perhaps simply the fact that you knew the person you knew, whose marriage ended so tragically, caused you to develop a bit of an obsession with regard to marrying someone who is gay? This might be something that would be worth delving into with the help of a mental health therapist should you have an interest in pursuing it. Beyond that, though, I think the other thing that may be important here may be for you & your husband to continue talking about it when the opportunity arises so that it doesn't become something you ruminate over.

Here are links to 5 articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on the subject of successful marriages:

5 Secrets to a Successful Long-Term Relationship or Marriage

Marriage Communication: How Does It Work?

Marriage Myth: Communication will Solve All Your Problems

7 Small & Simple Habits for a Happy Marriage

11 Hints for Resolving Relationship Irritations

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.