Thank you, Kiya. I will check out the DID Sourcebook.

Journaling sounds promising. I remember before I knew of this ego state's existence, I was writing a letter (having to do with something he felt strongly about) and my hands would type something I did not feel or believe at all. These statements were quite radical and would just come out on the paper and they kind of freaked me (this was before I knew about him). I know now it was this ego state doing the writing. So if this worked once, it could work again. If he comes out again, I will not send him away. I feel bad that I did that before.

I'm not sure of the right nomenclature to use so sorry if I am being confusing. I think of the word "alter" as one used by people with true DID/MPD, which I do not have. Everyone has ego states. (I use the word "part" interchangeably with "ego state," but perhaps that is not correct.) In DID, the ego states become more differentiated than in those without DID. Many people without DID are unaware of their ego states or may have very poorly differentiated ego states. I know I have at least 3 girls of different ages (they are all me at earlier ages, not novel children with their own names) and now this adult male. Plus there is me, the "executive" or "self" or whatever you call it. I think in DID the alters can become the ones in control and they switch with the self. During this time the self or main personality loses memory of this time. (I'm sorry if that is not right--I am learning.) With ego states, the self always retains control. There is no switching, no lost time (unless I dissociate, which happens rarely). My ego states do not speak directly for themselves, only through me. I can ask them questions and report what they say. Sometimes we share consciousness, like two or more people occupying the body at the same time, but the self is the one running the show. I am sure that is a rambling, imprecise explanation--I am not an expert on this.

I am posting my questions here in the DID forum, but maybe it is not ideal since I don't have DID. But I thought people here might know more about ego states than I do, since they are on the continuum to DID.

Here is an explanation I found on the web:
"There is increasing evidence that the dividing of the personality lies on a continuum, ranging from normal adaptive differentiation at one end to a pathological maladaptive dissocation at the other, where the true multiple personality disorder occur. The in between region on the continuum consists of "ego-states,"--covert patterns of behavior and experience, often accessible only under hypnosis."

I seem to be able, at least sometimes, to access my ego states without hypnosis, so I am not sure that is a critical part of the definition. (I have never had hypnosis.) Ego state therapy is kind of like doing family therapy with one's parts. The goal is not integration but harmonious co-existence--helping all the ego states get along with and support each other, work toward common goals, not be destructive, etc.