So I think my mind's getting paranoid again. I keep having severe trust issues, though I'm hiding them so I can further analyze the situation. I keep thinking I'm being used, betrayed, manipulated and toyed with like some lab rat. I feel as though people are not who they "pretend" to be. As many times as I tell myself that couldn't possibly be, my thoughts become worse. My T must be a master manipulator, same with my friend and my ex. The ones I don't believe are doing that, I don't believe they want me around. I can't really argue with that one. But I tell myself, over and over that none of this could be true because my life cannot be entirely surrounded terrible people and liars. It couldn't be, could it? I keep thinking that I'm not where I'm supposed to be and that I need to "leave the city" as it were. It's not like I want to think like this. I can't stop it. But I don't know if I can trust anyone to tell them this.

I think my sister really ****ed me up. I can't trust like I used to. Why won't she leave my ****ing head? Please....