I have an amazing therapist. I've taken a long time to trust him but I do quite a bit now. We are finally gonna start working on my biggest fear in life that I've had since I can remember.
Next week we will start out of office sessions for it... and we talked about it quite a bit this past week and while I can't think of anyone else I'd rather have with me in this situation, my anxiety is setting in already.

I can't stop thinking about it as the day gets closer and every time I do, my heart races and I'm sweaty. I have basically spent most of my life "Avoiding" this thing so I don't have to deal with it and if I encountered it on surprised, I'd run off. So the idea of sitting there, trying to deal with it head on, is scary. It's a public event we will go to as well, so I worry I may know someone and they will see me panic

I've no idea what I will do in a panic... likely not cry. I hate showing emotions, but I could scream, or shake, or hide or run, etc. I want badly to work on this and I'm blessed he is willing to do this with me but how can I ease this anxiety before I get to the session? It's like my mind and body are going back into a child like state and I can't even be rational about it.... like what if it goes just fine? I'd like to focus on that type of stuff more but unsure how in this situation and no I don't wanna share what it is a on a forum where you can't delete stuff as it's terribly embarrassing. Telling me T almost had my break down out of shame