Sally, your husband and parents are being rude. I would get supportive help in therapy to deal with that if you cannot now. Yes you are responsible for your actions and "mistakes" but no one else gets to tell you what they are as it is your life, not theirs. Everyone makes mistakes, that's how we learn! Your husband does not sound like a very good communicator nor very loving. I would challenge his threats of divorce and that he's having "doubts". Sounds like you need some help doing that do.

Everyone has problems, even your husband and parents. They just don't recognize and get help for theirs. Your instincts sound right, they are the ones with the most problems. Get some help for yours and support against their rudeness. Your husband sounds like a bully.