Thank you for the hug

It seems to me that the intrusive thoughts are "grand" or much more inspiring and nice when I'm feeling manic...music playing in my mind, tremendous creativity, feeling that I am doing great things. When I'm not manic, or more mixed, the intrusive thoughts are more like obsessive rumination, absolutely without stopping. As if dull, monotonous, discordant tones are moaning in my mind constantly.

For example, right now I am obsessively worrying about my usual terror (that one of my cats will get sick). In addition, I facilitate a NAMI support group; yesterday we had a group member become hostile and threatening. I was extremely shaken up by the incident. I want to forget about it for the week-end, but I cannot. It replays over, over, over, over...the incident, what I should do about the situation, whether I should resign, who I should communicate with regarding the situation, who should I trust, do I trust anyone......on and on and on. So much so that the thoughts begin to blur and hum; there is no relief...I feel completely crazy. Awful. I am exhausted; the only chance to escape is through sleep.

As for the OCD/BD link...everyone is different. That said, I have not seen that certain symptoms fit neatly into dx's - especially when thoe symptoms increase in severity. I have BD, severe anxiety, PTSD, and definitely some OCD. When it comes to the intrusive/obsessive thinking...the 4 dx's melt one into another, the lines blur. Eventually it doesn't matter which symptom indicates a specific disorder, I just need relief, or I feel I will die. Not that I might die, but I will die.