Quote:
Originally Posted by giddykitty
I don't really have any news, but I feel like I'll explode if I don't talk to someone.
I guess the news is I wasn't feeling well yesterday and so today I'm resting up while my H runs errands. I guess mood is normal, maybe on the high end except when I have to do things I don't want to do or that give me anxiety. Still always contemplating whether this is truly bipolar 2 or not. I was thinking about the last few times I was "high" and I suppose I did some regretable things, but I think it could have been circumstantial too. I wonder if I would have done it the same way had I been diagnosed sooner. And I wonder whether or not I'll repeat those things. I think maybe not because I recognize them as problems,...but on the other hand, my pms irritability has been less to none, so I guess I am getting helped regardless of diagnosis. I know I know I've been told that diagnosis is less important than effective treatment,...
anyway, I guess I'm just trying to find my place. Feeling a little lost and looking for sympathy. I can't always talk like this with my family. They either aren't as deep or they have just heard it so many times and have nothing more to say. Ah, I hope I don't start feeling that way about this place. Sometimes it's nice just to pretend someone is listening than to know for certain that they aren't.
lol boy i think too much! am I talking too much?? that was one of my problems. well, overtexting. I've been so depressed for so long, I haven't really been saying much, but today I feel different....well, I'm gonna stop it now before it gets too much more.
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I was diagnosed major depression then postpartum depression then bipolar II ,then bipolar I after I had a giant manic episode in the pdoc's waiting room & office on a scheduled appt. day. Narrowly missed the hospital on that one and would have been in there if not for H.
Not much difference in how they treat the 2, though I have noticed since the BP1 diagnosis, I get quick responses and med adjustments or appts. if I call regarding lack of sleep or hypomania. I get help for the hypo, even if it feels good because I quickly become fully manic, and it's bad.
I think BP1 might be more likely to become mixed, not sure about that one though I have now been mixed for ages, and that sucks.
It's not so much the diagnosis really. The treatment is mostly the same, and it depends if you have other mental illnesses too. Like I'm half the walkding DSM-V, I feel like as well as a pharmacy. Sigh.
I would have been different if diagnosed sooner, but in my case, with a major depression diagnosis, I was on SSRIs for 10 years, which would cause me mania, and I'd be ashamed to admit what I did while manic to the pdoc. I didn't realize it was mania anyway. If the first pdoc had asked all the questions in the right way, everything was there, he could have diagnosed bipolar and didn't, and so many later pdocs did not choose to re-diagnose, just accepted the major depression diagnosis. For me, yeah, the wrong diagnosis hurt a lot, but is is not like I can go back & undo it and have a re-do of all those years. Wouldn't be surprised if wrong meds caused brain changes that were worse than they would have been otherwise. But who knows?