I am sorry things have been hard for you. Do you feel you are making progress with your therapist or just not connecting?

I do the right things too - take my meds, keep all my appointments, started therapy, and still my life sucks. I can't work (ends me in or near the hospital every time), finances are tight as H is a high school teacher. His salary looks good on paper, but if he manages to bring home $30,000 in a year, we're lucky. So much is taken for taxes and healthcare. Mostly healthcare, and crappy high deductible health care at that.

Even without MH issues, my life sucks. MIL died the very end of December, substantially tightening FIL's finances, now we can get no help there and not from my family either. I turned 40 in January. I got a perforated ulcer on Valentine's Day, of all days, nearly died but instead needed ambulance, emergency surgery, 6 day hospital recovery (the WORST pain EVER, I wanted to die and die and wished I could have killed myself in the hospital, I hurt so much, and the stupid morphine made me so queasy, I just ended up with more shots. Long, painful recovery, followup with expensive GI doc, upper endoscopy, medical bills from every direction, no money for anything over the summer. H was practically promised his dream job in the fall around June, and it didn't happen. Back to teaching (time-consuming & stressful, mostly because of admin things and a horrible principal). No money. Emailed too much to a person I thought I could trust. Boom! Police show up & I have to go to the psych ER (it was go voluntarily or in handcuffs, not really any choice). Horrid psych ER treatment, released, CPS case opened against me (eventually, abuse on my part was ruled out), but now my daughter's principal/counselor/2 main teachers likely know; she is in 5th grade, so elementary school, it's small. Even tighter finances. HOA on our case for a violation that has been there 10 years and suddenly they notice. Two *itchy women in charge with nothing better to do, like help the Harvey victims in our neighborhood, or get the city council to repair our slanted, dirt coated sidewalks (a danger to walk on, let alone jog or push a stroller). More stuff too but you get the picture. I feel like bad luck was made with us in mind. I am to blame for a lot of the financial stuff with manic spending sprees, but have not had one of those in years now.

So I get that life can suck. I want stability both mentally & financially. This past year has been the worst year of my life, easy.

And the year isn't even over yet.