Thanks, EM--I really appreciate your thoughts on this. I'm having a difficult time figuring out why this therapist and I are constantly stalling out... is it me or him or our dynamic or what? I have a hard time trusting him but I try to at least take what he says into consideration (mostly because it drives me bonkers when patients flat-out refuse to believe me even when I know I'm right--though that's different tbh b/c when I know I'm right it's because I have lab values or x rays or whatever to back me up; therapy is nowhere near that concrete). But a lot of the things he offers for consideration make me feel like crap, and often don't feel true to me.

The funny thing is that I'm in a program where all of our individual and group sessions are videotaped and then the various shrinks sit around and watch the videos with each other (or at least bits of them)... so you'd think if he were doing something egregiously wrong, someone would have told him to cut it out??

I'm meeting with the psychiatrist in charge of the program the week after next. I feel a little hopeful about that because the last time I met with him I told him how crappy therapy was feeling and he seemed taken aback and said something about how if things aren't working we can change them. And then he called my T and then my T seemed kind of annoyed (even angry?) I guess because he (my T) felt like the things that were bothering me in therapy weren't things that he was doing (e.g. making a big deal about what he thinks my diagnosis is... though tbh it wasn't so much that he was harping on about it, more that he kept bringing it up in little ways even though I didn't/don't feel ready to talk about/deal with that). So I dunno what the hell to do.