This sounds so tough. I don't usually struggle with this, but I completely didn't recognize myself this past year in that mixed episode and I really was thrown into an identity crisis for a bit. It was a deeply painful experience. One way I am thinking about it is like Maslow's hierarchy of needs. We must first have our basic needs met, than our psychological needs, then our self fulfillment needs. Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs | Simply Psychology. When we are unwell we are further down on the pyramid, and by being stuck there, we cannot fully grow to our greatest potential. But once those needs are managed (not saying disorders need to be gone, just taken care of enough that they don't consume us) we can get to the rest. I guess what I am saying is I think we are more than our disorders, and without them we wouldn't be nothing, we could just grow even more into the best version of ourselves.