Hi holmes 96! Your name made me smile I cut also, but I am a lot older than you. And I am a Teacher - High School, 27 years. From your post it sounds like you are handling this alone. That is quite a burden holmes. There are people who can & want to help you, & talking & sharing with them will make a tremendous difference toward alleviating your struggle. Some adults will not be able to handle this issue, I'm being honest & straight with you, however, plenty of adults do want to help you and Can! Could you consider speaking to a Teacher,a Relative - Uncle, Aunt, Cousin, Brother someone at Church, someone you trust, & is understanding. If you act on this now, you can get help now-please don't wait like I did-that was a big mistake. PM if you would like to, I'm here for you & I care about You.