Anyone can see that you are extremely intelligent and work very hard to fulfill your roles. You have internalized the negative messages that you are doing everything wrong, as you said. THE MESSAGES ARE NOT TRUE. Hopefully your t will have concrete ideas about stopping this. They are bullies. You could use your creative writing to imagine yourself dealing w them in various bold ways. One of them could be to drop them . Or imagine a protective shield around yr family with the nastiness bouncing off. Could be fun.
Luckily my dysfunctional family members were far away! I really couldn’t take it.