Its been awile since I posted and I'm sorry for that. But I'm not well right now.
Here I sit upset while everyone else seems to be okay. Is it over yet, the pain, the sadness, the anger? Is it over? i'm so sick of it all. I know that I'm not perfect I'll never claim to be perfect, never will you hear me say I'm perfect. I'm upset because everyone around me is a bunch of freaking hipocrits. For example, everyone I know, family and friends have all told embarrassing stories about me, made me the butt of the jokes they tell, shown embarrassing pictures of me and they all know that it upsets me but yet they all continue to do it. But yet if I do it to them its the end of the world and they act as if I've killed them but yet its okay if they do it to me. My mom leads the group. Well I found this picture and I didn't bring it out to embarrass her or hurt her I really didn't. I did it because I wanted a picture of me, her, and my grandma my moms mom, well the picture wasn't the greatest of my mom I admit that but the next thing I know I get racked over the coals by her and others saying that it wasn't nice of me to do it. But yet if it had been a picture of me no one would have defended me or said anything. Why is it okay for them to treat me like crap by showing embarrassing pictures of me, telling stories about me, or making me the but of all the jokes but yet if I do it I'm the worst person ever. I want to scream at them. Then after my mom treats me like crap and basically threatens me not to tell anyone about this picture or she'll cut me off, I tell her that I have gotten an application for housing..which is cheap and she acts like I've cut her heart out. i'm sick of this. I'm sick of her and her crap. Its come to the point that I don't even want to go home. I don't even feel like its home anymore. I feel like some stranger. I am frstrated. I don't know what to do anymore. I've taken it all from her and everyone else, never dished anything out to any of them. I've just kept my mouth shut and suffered in silence. There have been occasions I've stood up for myself but it gets me no where. I sit in silence they walk all over me. I stand up for myself and they laugh and think its funny and use it against me again later. I just don't understand why if they do something its fine, great, funny or whatever but if i do it than I might as well shoot one of them.