Interesting question.

I have been cutting for 20 years. I started when I was around 10 and I did it to feel something after being abused. It sounds bizarre, but I had dissociated and felt so surreal that I remember taking a pen knife and first trying to stab myself and then cutting myself. It instantly "grounded me."

Since then, I have used cutting for that reason.
But, I had no concious motive. I never heard of it, and it was not until I was in foster care that it was first addressed by a therapist.
While I wanted to hurt myself, cutting was not the answer to that thought. I literally had no concept of what I was doing.

I am trying to stop, but it is tough. And going on and off through therapy was not the best solution. It would have been better if I could have stayed in therapy for an extensive period of time. Maybe this time I will be able.