my mother was a perfectionist and there was no emotional support expressed in our house at all ... a psychologist I saw a while back said I was emotionally deprived as a child and suffered ptsd ... though I had never really thought that way I had to agree he was right ... some of my current actions and feelings about my self and my life are colored by this history ... but I am who I am ... at 61 I am just too old to change ... so I feel your pain ... I just wish I had some good advice for you ...