Who knows what the future will bring. I think it is probably unlikely that your former T will change her mind and be willing to work with you again, but you never know...she may at some point reconnect and allow you some answers that would give you some closure. I do think with time that the need for connection with her will diminish some and it won't be as painful. The old saying, "Time heals all wounds..." I think there is some wise thinking in that. For now, just focus on one day at a time and focus on getting the support you need in other ways, from other people. Keep talking here on PC if you want to. ((((hugs)))) Kit.