VENT: sorry this got long, do not have to read

I want to add to this thread. I am going through some things that are re-traumatizing. I can't be afraid that my sister cares enough to be reading this thread. I know she knows I've talked about this site, and she knows how to find it. I can't see her bothering to check this out, but if she does oh fn well.

My dad has been ill, she somehow got the restraining order to her daughter released. She always claimed it was my neices husband was a crazy person. But no, he wasn't. I only met him a few times, and the stories she concocted behind his back made me wonder, and still do. But he was protecting his wife from her. And she twisted it around. She went through the court to probably tell lies about him. She acted like she was afraid for her life from him, but I don't believe she ever really was. She wanted control. Always did.

I remember my neice just giving me hints when I had my own hair salon. It was only one time, but I do remember. I believe they made their own kids stupid by abusing them (my sister and her husband). I wasn't eye witness to anything except what I observed, and yet I could do nothing. My niece needs protection. She is under control of her mother, and now has a baby that is in the midst of surgeries. I worry for her but she is a woman who had chances to say, and still does, if there is something she needs help with.

Back when she was little in my salon, I just asked "so how are you and your mom getting along?" she said "she gets angry, and when she does she gets really angry, but then she apologize I then was given a card with just a handprint of her own, my niece's, and some words. My sister was in my home after that, saw it, and immediately picked it up and said "ohhhh, can I see this?" in a quiet way. I said ok, since she was already looking at it. I started putting two and two together back then, but what could I do?
They lived 1000 kms away. I had my own kids. I was working to make a life.

She cut me down back then about my salon, how "I wouldn't have this sign or that, and I wouldn't put this price for that".... she knew how to make me feel stupid for as long as I remember. I got so down about myself that I gave up on the only career path I had left.

Back when I was on sick leave because of her putting me in the hospital in my early 20's, she took control. I was babysitting her kids. She said "here, here's your osap loan, here's the hairstyling school"..... I'm just thinking, what, I don't want to be a hairstylist. She was thinking, well you like beauty obviously since you put make up on and like the way you look (things were said over time that made me realize she thought I had the beauty and she had the brains). I need to stop now... this may not seem like trauma to someone else,
but there is so much more.

My point tonight being, I can't sleep. Dad's sick, she's busy helping her daughter with the "burden" of the baby with some physical problems, and she can't be there with her DAD. So I got tired and couldn't be there for him yesterday and she had the meanest meanest tone in her voice to me. I've been sick myself. To the hospital last night. I want a BREAK from my whole family, but I won't do that to my dad. You respect your parents, that's how I was brought up.